Month: January 2013

Being ‘Good’ or Being ‘True’

~ womeninlivingness

by Sara Harris, BHSc, Melbourne, Australia

For the most part of my life I have been very conscious of looking after myself. In fact, I used to pride myself on how healthy I was, even as a teenager. I went to the gym, played all sorts of sports, didn’t eat sugar and was careful about the amount of food I was eating. I was also one to do very well at school. Always on top of everything, producing quality and quantity and getting marks to confirm me as being a ‘good’ student. I was also involved in fund-raisers and the 40 hour famine each year… out to save the world!

Looking back now, it would be fair to say that I was living in a bit of a ‘drive’ – a drive to do well, to be good, to succeed and to be the best. It may seem as though there is nothing wrong with all of this, however my body was telling me that there definitely was. I would push myself through anything, constantly, at the expense of my body. Here I was thinking that I was looking after myself by doing all the right things, but I hadn’t considered that simply listening to my body ‘first’ was actually what was needed. I see now how I kept going to the gym when my body was tired, or how I was eating food because of what I had read or what I was told was good for me, without listening to what my body really wanted. And I would work until all hours of the morning to get things done, thinking that the work would be better the more time I gave it. But why did I not give the same consideration and dedication to my body, when it is the one actually doing all of the work? Continue reading “Being ‘Good’ or Being ‘True’” →

Esoteric Women’s Health – The Journey I Can Never Walk Away From

~ womeninlivingness

by Dragana Brown, London, UK

How to describe Esoteric Women’s Health, what it means and what it has done for me? Where do I even begin? From the beginning would be the obvious answer.

It began with esoteric healing, followed by Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), followed by monthly meetings and presentations by a graceful woman, Sara Williams, and four times a year by another tender-hearted lady, Natalie Benhayon. Esoteric breast massage was an equivalent of a bombshell when I first heard of the modality: “What? Another woman massaging my breasts, surely not?!”. Ah, the importance of a truly open mind! To dismiss it without experiencing and feeling the enormousness of this profound healing modality would have been an irretrievable loss.

If I am painting a very ‘rosy picture’ about Esoteric Breast Massage, let me break the illusion here and add some more colour to the palette. It was, especially in the beginning, hugely exposing, confronting and uneasy, to put it mildly. Continue reading “Esoteric Women’s Health – The Journey I Can Never Walk Away From” →

(There is nothing sexy about) An Esoteric Breast Massage

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by Anne Malatt,  Australia

It took me years to come back for my second Esoteric Breast Massage.

I had my first one in the early days of the modality, after overcoming my initial misgivings – “that is weird”, “why do we need that?”, “ooh, that is going to cause waves”.

My first session was lovely in the sense of the setting and the practitioner, but there was nothing sexy about it. I did not like the feeling of having my breasts touched, so much so that I checked out – I left my body – and I came to realise that this is what I did every time someone touched my breasts. Which meant that I had not been truly present for any of the sex I had ever had (that was a lot of not being present!). This was very painful for me to feel. Continue reading “(There is nothing sexy about) An Esoteric Breast Massage” →

My New Bra

~ womeninlivingness

by L (aged 22 years), The Netherlands

Two days ago I finally went shopping to buy a new bra. A friend of mine highly recommended a certain nice store, and so my friend and I went to visit.

This shop was amazing! A store full of bras, all stocked in piles in their little cabins. The (bra fitting) assistant was very kind and straightforward and knew exactly what type and size of bra would fit me. At first I was a little, “Ooh no! I don’t wear a C cup, I always have B or even A”. But after trying the B cup first, I actually felt the lady was right – I did need a C cup, which I normally don’t wear! So then she came with a pile of bras for me to try. With the loving support and good advice of my friend and also the assistant, I found two very well fitting bras which also looked amazing. And I can say that it was the first time in my life I had found a bra that fitted my body so beautifully. Some beautiful underwear also came with the bras, so I decided to buy them as a set. Continue reading “My New Bra” →

Permission to Wear a Dress

~ womeninlivingness

by Anonymous

I grew up with a belief that I was not beautiful. I felt like the ugly duckling in my family. My mother and her sisters were very petite, had dark hair and brown eyes. I on the other hand was tall, had blonde hair and blue eyes and was told by many that I had a good ‘solid’ build, a word which I grew up to detest.

When I was introduced for the first time to work colleagues of my parents or people that my parents knew, it was always joked about that I couldn’t be my mother’s daughter and where did I come from (“was I adopted?”) as they couldn’t believe how physically different we were. Although I laughed along I was always ashamed by this and ashamed of my looks, height and build. I felt I could never be a woman because I wasn’t small and I didn’t look like the women in my family. I had a picture that you needed to be small and petite to be a girl or a woman and because I didn’t fit this picture I loathed how I looked. I also believed that you could only ever ask for help, show you were upset or be vulnerable if you were small and delicately framed. Continue reading “Permission to Wear a Dress” →

Knowing What’s Right for Me…

~ womeninlivingness

As a child, I was comfortable in my body and had never consciously considered the question “What’s right for me?”… it was just naturally how I was. When I was 12 or 13 years old, I went through a growth spurt and became quite skinny very quickly. Around the same time I felt to start eating differently. I didn’t want meat pies, pizza, fish and chips or Macca’s (McDonald’s) on Fridays or the weekends. And I didn’t want cheesy sauces on my veggies, or chips, or cheese and bikkies for snacks during the day. There were also many meals that I didn’t feel like eating at all and wanted to skip. I began to be more aware of what was ‘good’ and ‘not so good’ and what was right for me and my body in terms of nutrition and my health.

I also began to enjoy exercise and loved my daily walk/jog around our neighborhood, exploring all the parks and secret pathways. I had felt to start this little exercise routine because I had done a fitness test in school grade 7 PE which involved a 1.5km walk/jog. This was the first test I had done and my body felt really heavy, sluggish and sore; I’d been surprised I couldn’t do it, not having ever done an endurance exercise before, only sprints in running and swimming.

My body began to change – not just the shape, but also how I felt. Continue reading “Knowing What’s Right for Me…” →

My Haircut – My masterpiece!

~ womeninlivingness

by Sally Scott, Perth, Australia

Getting a haircut is something that we all do – whether it be in a professional salon, visiting someone who works from home, having it done by a family member or friend, or maybe even doing it yourself. We all experience it.

For me, hairdressing salons have always been confronting I have been to small ones, large ones, cheaper ones, very expensive ones, trendy ones and those set up from home. In the past I have found them so intimidating: walking into a space with what I perceived to be lots of beautiful people walking around wearing amazing clothes and parading some very funky hair-dos. There is, of course, generally some sort of music being played, and then to top it all off, you take a seat in front of a mirror where you get to look at yourself and wait until the hairdresser is ready for you. Continue reading “My Haircut – My masterpiece!” →

I am a Regular Woman

~ womeninlivingness

by Janine Whitling, Dip App Sci – Naturopathy, Masters in Contemporary Art, Brisbane Australia

I am a regular woman, and person really, not much different to you. I grew up in a household which had difficulty expressing love: dad hid behind his work and was often sullen and quiet, mum tried like crazy to stay the dutiful wife, working and caring for the home. Both were so wrapped up in their own stuff that they often forgot about us, forgot how to spend time with us. Nothing new here – I know dozens of people who grew up like this.

At school I was teased… lots of kids were. I hated my looks (so did lots of other kids too) and I struggled to find a place in the world, trying so hard to fit in. I moulded myself to be whatever I needed to be so I wouldn’t be different, so that people would like me; anything to get an okay. Then, in my teens I started drinking, because that’s what ‘cool’ kids did. And in my twenties I started doing drugs, because that’s what ‘cool’ people did. And all at the same time I slept with whoever I could, just for some kind of attention and to feel popular. Continue reading “I am a Regular Woman” →

From Black Belt Kick Boxer to Tenderness

~ womeninlivingness

by JK, England

While I was having a long bath this morning, I took the time to appreciate how different my body feels lately. When I washed my feet, the hard skin that used to be on the balls of my feet has completely gone, the skin on my legs and arms and body is very soft and gentle, and my hair feels much thicker, shinier and healthier than it ever has. What I also felt was how much I can feel inside my body, and how sensitive (in a great and tender way) my body is to many things, such as the temperature of my bath water (not too hot or too cold) and the products I use on my body (for example, the ‘organic’ shampoo and conditioner I used today felt harsh and unloving – so I have binned it). And how I love to give myself ample time to take a long bath when I feel to. Boy, have I come a long way!

Fifteen years ago I was a junior black-belt kick boxer. I also cycled up mountains, did 100’s of press-ups and sit-ups as part of my kickboxing training, and regularly went jogging. I was, at that time, an associate director of a large healthcare organisation – and I used to turn up for work with bruises and broken toes (from the kickboxing). For anyone who doesn’t know me, I’m just about 5 foot tall, and very slight in build; I’ve pretty much always been this build, give or take a few pounds. I used to train with 6 foot-plus men for kickboxing – very few women got to junior black belt. I had a busy working life, working 50 to 60 hours a week and driving a round trip of 60 miles a day. I used to get so tired I couldn’t sleep, so I would buy a curry from the local Indian take-away and eat it to make me sleepy enough to sleep. I also ate chocolate and drank green tea to ‘pep’ me up when I felt tired during the day. Continue reading “From Black Belt Kick Boxer to Tenderness” →

A Space Just For Me

~ womeninlivingness ~ 2 Comments

by Gabriele Conrad, Goonellabah, Australia

This morning I looked around in my bedroom, felt how simple and supportive it was, and was reminded of all those years when I so yearned for a space where I could be with myself, take care of myself and look after myself.

In the past, I had always been keenly aware of how much I missed not doing things for myself; such as having a bath just for me, and not because I was chilled to the bone and a bath was the only way to warm up; such as having somewhere where I actually wanted to linger and where I could apply body lotion or cream; such as a space where I could take care of my hair rather than wear it so short that I never had to use a comb and never had to look at myself in the mirror. Continue reading “A Space Just For Me” →