I recently went to visit my hairdresser. No big deal I hear you say and normally I would agree. I have quite short hair and was just going for a regular haircut – or so I thought!
My hairdresser took a lot of time checking out how the last cut had turned out; what had worked and what hadn’t. She made the comment that it was very important to her that she understood the hair that she was cutting. She said that she had to take her time to learn to ‘speak’ to my hair so that she understood the best way to cut it so as to create the style we had agreed upon.
I suggested that there was another way to look at it; that if she was prepared to let my hair guide her hands so that she knew what, where and how much to cut, she would have all the support she needed and the end result would be amazing.
This was a spontaneous comment but somehow I knew that she would understand what I was saying. She paused for a moment and it was like a light bulb came on. She said ‘you’re right, all I have to do is trust that if I let your hair take the lead, it will guide me; not the other way around’. With that she set to work.
That was my first learning point: that listening to the input from others, being flexible and not trying to control situations actually opens up the space to take in new information and learning and furthermore, that equality and a sense of partnership in activity can flourish.
At one point she asked if I would mind if she took a break to attend to someone else with something very straight forward as she said that she wanted to really focus on what she was doing with my haircut and there were quite a few distractions happening at the time with staff coming up to her (as the salon owner) and asking questions etc. I was happy to wait as I really appreciated that she was taking so much care with the cut.
That became lesson number two: just focus on staying present with myself in whatever is happening in the moment and, if necessary, ask for more time rather than rush things.
The hairdresser was offering loving care and attention to detail which left time feeling irrelevant, despite the busyness of everyone’s day. What a great reminder to me as someone who can get caught in the stress of trying to complete my ‘to do’ list within a certain time frame. In these situations connection with myself is lost and low-grade anxiety takes over. I thought about how often I had pushed on through tasks for fear of offending another person or because I thought they would think I was a failure for not keeping up to a certain rate. It goes without saying that the quality of the end product is greatly affected by what I choose to do under such circumstances.
As she came back to me she commented on how the hair on each side of a person’s head often grew in quite different ways and that there was commonly a marked difference in hair thickness from one side of the head to the other. This was certainly true in my case with the hair on the right hand side being much thicker than the left hand side. I had always just accepted this as ‘the way it is’. She then spoke about how a person’s hair reflects their life story. She said that she can usually tell if there has been trauma etc. because the hair on one side of the head would show the impact. I was really intrigued by this and she went on to give an example of what she meant. She spoke about a client who had hair that was in quite poor condition on one side of her head compared to the other. It turned out that this woman had suffered a significant injury to that side of the head and body years earlier and the state of her hair on that side was a reflection of unresolved trauma she had experienced. I do realise that others with medical knowledge may be able to explain this situation from a conventional medicine perspective. I also realise that hairdressers reading this blog might have their own theories as to what goes on in such situations. However, this conversation gifted me with reflection number three:
I had never given any real consideration to how my hair grows, but this conversation got me pondering on how all the different parts of the body are always communicating with us – not just the ones that we are used to thinking of.
Next came awakening number four as my curiosity had been raised as to what personal narrative my own hair might be reflecting and which I had up to that point been quite ignorant about. I knew there was nothing in my current life that would account for any differences on a physical level, so what if my hair being thinner on one side was reflecting something energetically rather than just physically? After all, Einstein proved long ago that everything is made up of energy and Serge Benhayon expanded on this by adding that therefore everything is because of energy.
Perhaps the ‘trauma’ was related to how I had been living as a woman for years rather than a specific event?
This was a real ‘squirm in my seat’ moment because in reality I have lived the vast majority of my life in what is viewed energetically as a male way, or in other words, a hard, busy and driven kind of way, thinking that if I wasn’t seen as tough I would be viewed as weak and therefore vulnerable to being hurt. The impact of these behavioural patterns and the associated beliefs and ideals would have perpetrated enormous trauma on my body, especially as they had been repeated regularly over a long period of time.
This reality check showed me that how I live and care for myself, especially as a woman, was being constantly tallied and calibrated within my body and was demonstrating exactly the type of energy I have been choosing in my life.
Furthermore, the quality of every interaction is dependent on my level of openness and my intentions in the encounter. This woman took exquisite care of my hair and it was no surprise that the haircut was without doubt the best I had ever had. I felt that we had both received a mutual blessing from each other that day. For me it was taking the time to really connect with this woman with openness and finding our conversations then taking unexpected but delightful twists and turns along the way. I felt listened to when I spoke yet I could have quite easily missed all of this had I followed my initial desire to not say much so that she would do the job as quickly as possible. I was shown that I do deserve to be treated with gentleness, tenderness and loving attention to detail; I have value and I am worth the care.
In fact this is what I have realised that the left hand side of my hair is telling me: that the time to gracefully surrender to my beauty as a woman with all the gentleness and delicacy that I deserve, is long overdue.
She also showed me through the way that she was prepared to let my hair guide her that flexibility and trust are vital steps to moving forward.
Lesson number five was more a confirmation of something I know but sometimes lose track of along the way, and that is that you never know where, when and who the next leading light might be to cross your path. We are all able to make a positive difference in this world in our own unique way. We have an enormous amount to offer each other and the more we get ourselves and our desires, ideals and beliefs out of the way, the clearer the pathway.
And my final lesson:
life lessons don’t have to be painful and I don’t need to get bogged down by them!
What I recognise now is that all the downs that occur along the way come with the added bonuses of opportunities for growth and service to all. How priceless and inspirational is that!
I doubt I would have seen this experience in the way I do now if it had happened ten years ago. In fact, I would have been socially polite so as not to be offensive yet irritated that I hadn’t been able to just quickly whip in and out in minimal time while still wanting to receive a fantastic haircut! Ouch!
The changes in me have been gradual over the years. Life is a feast of daily delights to experience that I would not have recognised without the generous support of Serge Benhayon and various Universal Medicine practitioners and members of the Universal Medicine Student Body.
By Helen Giles, Social Worker, Townsville, Australia
You may also enjoy:
Read Two Women’s inspiring account of the deepening of their relationship at work and the recognition of how powerful women are together if we allow ‘curiosity and not criticism…..playfulness and joy…time to learn and to experiment.’
How a bad haircut can give us a lesson in self-love.
Join Michelle in discovering the true meaning of delicateness.