by Victoria Lister, Brisbane, Australia
A long-time recipient of Esoteric Breast Massages (EBMs), I’ve decided to share my story so readers who are unfamiliar with this modality can get a sense of what it’s about, and how important it can be. Before I begin, I want to stress that I in no way, shape or form endorse abandoning medical advice or treatment in favour of a so-called ‘alternative’ approach. Rather, I have learned that the Esoteric modalities offered via Universal Medicine are not an ‘alternative’ to mainstream medicine but an amazing complement to it – the ‘missing link’ that has enabled me, and many others, to understand our bodies and what they’re telling us by way of the ills and discomforts we experience. Esoteric Medicine further acknowledges that whilst mainstream medicine is amazing in terms of what it can achieve in human health and alleviate in terms of human suffering, it does not have all the answers.
I’ve had sore, lumpy breasts for most of my adult life. I had my first mammogram in my 20s, worried I was getting cancer (the anti-breast cancer publicity was extremely effective!) as one area had become particularly dense. As it turned out, I was fine, and the doctor told me I simply had ‘wholegrain’ breasts: that breasts vary in texture with some ‘plain’, others ‘wholemeal’ and mine grainy. I was comforted by this advice (I didn’t feel so abnormal and the wholegrain analogy did sound rather healthy). The extra-lumpy area subsided, and although I didn’t feel the need to seek further medical intervention for at least a decade, I was left with a pervasive sense of unease, as if on some level I knew what I had been told – and what I was feeling in my body – wasn’t quite right.
Skip to my 30s and an area of lumpiness re-appeared (they seemed able to come and go at will, and weren’t always in the same place). Once again, I followed the same protocols as before with pretty much the same results. All was OK, everything was quite normal and it was something I just had to live with.
So I did; putting up with the lumpiness but continuing to worry nonetheless. During recurrences I would constantly check my breasts to see if the lumpy areas were getting bigger or sorer, and at times I lived with a fair bit of pain and discomfort. Again, the prominence of breast cancer campaigns and things ‘pink’ did nothing to allay my fears that cancer was just around the corner.
Along the way I developed an interest in alternative health, and took on board the advice of naturopaths and others. While the regimes they recommended had some positive effects on my overall health, these suggestions were only ever a partial fix as far as my breasts were concerned. It seemed no-one had the answers to my problem. In fact the suggestion was, from mainstream and alternate practitioners alike, that lumpy, sore breasts were kind of normal… part of being a woman.
Fast-forward to my early 40s, and the lumps, which had again been dormant for some time, re-appeared once more. At this time I was going through a re-assessment of how I was living, which wasn’t all that great. I had a strong, internal sense that one’s early 40s were a critical time of life, in the sense that the choices made during this time would pretty much lay down the foundations (for better or for worse) for how you would live the rest of your life.
And I was, like the rest of my divorced, single and child-free posse of girlfriends, living dangerously. I smoked and drank excessively to either alleviate stress, loneliness or a sense of emptiness, or to numb-out or achieve a high; I had a ridiculous number of reckless, sexual liaisons; I relied on caffeine to get me through the day; I liked my share of gossip and drama; I worked stupidly hard in my job; I was overweight (but kidding myself that because I wasn’t as heavy as other times in the past, I was more or less OK); I disliked the way I looked and felt; I had few relationships of any real quality; and, to be honest, was contributing little of any real value to anybody. To the outside eye my life looked pretty good, but the way I was living lacked quality, and I had a sense I was affecting everything I did on an unseen level.
Aware things weren’t working, I continued to pursue (once more, with vigour) the yoga, acupuncture, massage and various forms of spirituality I had started investigating in my late 20s – but then realised these weren’t working, either. Despite these interventions, I still felt like crap – physically, and in general. And never mind the ludicrousness of undertaking alternative health practices and regimes whilst continuing to lead a life of, well, basic debauchery.
As far as I could see, I had two choices: I could keep living like this for the rest of my life and look forward to spending my mid-to-senior years (if I made it that far) in a state of decline or worse; or, I could change.
So change it was. Life as I was living it was certainly not worth perpetuating.
To initiate the change, I contacted a friend – a former workmate who I knew was now working primarily as an Esoteric Healing Practitioner as well as a Naturopath – and asked to see her for a session.
The discerning reader will at this point question this course of action. Wasn’t I merely jumping into the arms of yet another practitioner, of a kind already tested and found wanting? What would be different about this one?
I’d met my friend not long after I first moved to Brisbane in my 30s and we’d stayed in touch well after we’d both left our former workplace. Although I didn’t have much to do with her on a day-to-day basis, we had found time to meet up over the years to enjoy each other’s company over a cup of tea (or in my case, coffee) or dinner. We didn’t have much in common at that point in terms of the way we lived, but we always had plenty to talk about and I know she was often entertained by my various escapades.
What continued to draw me to her, despite the very different ways in which we lived? I loved her steadfastness. In my mind’s eye I had, and still have, an image of her as a steady, glowing, blue flame; always constant, maybe dancing a bit from side to side at times as flames do, but always, unfailingly there. I loved too that she never, ever judged me, maintaining instead an open-hearted curiosity about me and my life, and a sense of humour that allowed perhaps for the occasional, gentle ribbing and nothing more. She was always a delight, a refreshing drink of water in what was otherwise a pretty dry old time.
So the day arrived when I knew it was time to get real and book an Esoteric Healing session with her. Despite knowing my friend, I didn’t really know exactly what she did work-wise, but I knew and trusted her, and understood that on some level, what she had – reflected in the way she presented herself over time – was real and true. Having studied other forms of healing in the past, I was no stranger to the notion that there was more to life than the physical either, so there was nothing there to bring me unstuck. I also knew she had studied, and continued to study, with a man called Serge Benhayon, as she was already doing so when I first met her. While I didn’t know much about him or what he presented, I was fine with that too. My friend was a picture of glowing health and calm, and I wanted that too.
And so began my turnaround, beginning with a gradual clearing out of the accumulated ‘junk ‘of my life. I won’t explain the process here (though I will in my Part 2 in relation to the Esoteric Breast Massage). Suffice to say, it took about six months of regular sessions to put enough of a dint in things that I was able to take the first steps toward living in a way that was less hard on me, and my body. I was even able to begin attending workshops and courses run by Universal Medicine (the organisation founded by Serge Benhayon) and really start to initiate change.
It was there, and with my new practitioner, that I finally started to learn about self-love and self-responsibility, and how the choices we make and the way we live matter – and make a huge difference in terms of our bodies, our lives, and the lives of others. I learned (and continue to learn) much, and was able to come a long way, relative to where I had been, in a short space of time. Eventually all the ‘fillers’ in my life – the things I was using to try to feel good about myself but were ‘doing me wrong’ – dropped away. I was able to quit my addictions to smoking, drinking and men, and over time, I even stopped drinking coffee.
This latter addiction was, oddly enough, probably the hardest of all to change, though in hindsight I can see why: coffee was the fuel that enabled me to push through life and maintain a certain pace. But as I was to discover, this was a driven-ness that ran counter to my true self. It would take a deeper connection, of the kind I found through Esoteric Breast Massage, to let me start to feel how detrimental it was to be living in a perpetual state of stress, busy-ness and activity.
Part 2 – My Bosom Buddies: an Esoteric Breast Massage Journey – Part 2