by Dr Rachel Hall, Dentist, Kenmore, Brisbane
There are many milestones in a woman’s life, one of which is buying your first bra, as getting a bra for the first time signifies the shift from being a girl to a young woman.
As a girl I seldom gave bras much thought, it was just something your mum wears and they were fun to play dress up in, or use as a makeshift catapult – but that was about it. Breasts and bras were quite an alien concept and during my developing years I often prayed, wished and hoped that my breasts, when the time came, would not be too big. Evidently breasts came in different shapes and sizes, as some women had flat chests and others seemed to have more than their fair share. I didn’t see what was so sexy or great about them… or why the girls at school were so desperate to get their boobs.
I remember being about 11 years old when I started to develop the first buds of my breasts and my mum suggested it was time to get a bra. I totally recoiled at the idea; I was such a tomboy and thought surely it could be put off a while longer if I simply wore a couple of tight singlets under my blouse or t-shirt. But no, mum knows best and I was whisked off to the shops to choose a bra. I recall the mission to procure one was hush, hush and furtive and I shouldn’t really talk about it with my brother or dad as they might find it embarrassing. I don’t really remember much about the actual event, but I do know that I hated wearing a bra; the straps were irritating and kept slipping off my shoulders, the cups didn’t fit right and the whole thing made me feel like I was being constricted. I wore it as little as possible and dreaded the days we’d have sport as I knew I’d have to wear the darn thing for that day. Fortunately for me, my prayers for small breasts were answered and I found that I could ‘get away’ with not having to wear a bra for quite some years.
And then the best thing ever happened: they invented… CROP TOPS!
Bliss, happiness and comfort descended around my bosoms and chest area and never again did I need to worry what my little boobs were up to. I could squash them up and flatten them down and pretend they didn’t exist. Up until recently that is…
Universal Medicine brought forth the Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) modality. When I first heard of it I thought it was performed with your clothes on and I said to myself “there is no way on this earth I am having that done”. At this point I was very familiar with and open to esoteric healing and the philosophies of Universal Medicine and the benefits they offered, having worked with them for several years, but I was certainly not open to this. And then I realised you actually had to take your top off and they massaged the areas around the breast and then onto the breasts themselves. I nearly fainted at the thought of it, massive resistance came up in my body and all my issues surrounding my breasts came up to the surface… but still I was not going to have ‘that’ done.
Over the following months it kept coming to me that if I was so reluctant to experience an Esoteric Breast Massage then I must have some massive issue surrounding my breasts and being a woman (really? Go figure!), and eventually I took the plunge. The practitioners (all women) were so supportive, understanding and sensitive to my concerns that I was able to have EBMs and learn so much about myself as a woman, and the issues around my breasts. The EBM is a beautiful and most enlightening modality; through it I have learned to embrace my femaleness and appreciate my breasts as a wonderful part of my body. But the cropped tops remained.
Subsequently, Natalie Benhayon began giving presentations for women and I received notes from these, which were surprising, illuminating and exposing of how we don’t live as true women. I attended a talk for myself towards the end of 2011 where Natalie talked about bras and how they support a woman, and how they should fit comfortably without digging in, or leaving lines, especially around the sides of the chest where our lymphatic regions are. As she was talking I became painfully aware of how tight and restrictive my crop top actually was, and that even though I was now more connected to and comfortable with my breasts I was continuing to constrict and crush that area of my body.
Through these presentations and receiving Esoteric Breast Massages I have come to realise that my breasts are a part of me that holds so much information about how I live and perceive myself as a woman: as such, the breasts deserve to be cherished, nurtured and celebrated just like the rest of my body, not hidden or seen as something to be despised or ashamed of. And that the more I grow as a woman, the more connected to this part of my body, a part that is truly feminine, I have become. No longer did it feel right to be squashing my breasts into poorly fitting tops that I was kidding myself were comfortable.
So the following weekend I decided to go shopping – it was time for a proper bra. I knew it needed to be simple, not padded or push up, and definitely no underwire. Everything that fitted this category was either a very unflattering ‘strap them in hold them down’ sports bra, or trainer–teenager bras that when I tried them on, either didn’t cover enough of my breast tissue or brought me to tears as they made me feel like a little girl, and not a grown woman. What I found with most bras was that they simply didn’t fit right – but how could they when I didn’t even know my size?… and I was too shy to ask to be measured. In despair, I found a modestly padded bra, no underwire, simple, but feminine enough and tried on lots of different sizes until I worked out the one that felt most supportive without crushing, pinching or digging in. It took a lot of trial and error but I was determined to wear it. I found that it fitted well but was not quite right as the straps were either too tight or kept slipping down. Would I ever be able to wear a bra without it driving me insane?
A few weeks later I was shopping for clothes when in the underwear department I noticed some simple non-padded bras that didn’t look like something you would give to a 12-year-old girl. Now I was on a mission. I grabbed several sizes and headed off to the changing room with bras in hand. I carefully selected a size, adjusted the straps to where I felt they should be and tried the bra on. Incredibly it fitted perfectly and was the most comfortable, flattering bra I had ever worn. As I looked in the mirror I saw there was a petite but curvy woman looking back at me. I paused and just stared back at myself for a long moment. “Wow” I thought, “that is so pretty and you look beautiful in it” and again a bra brought me to tears, but this time it was because I could feel the truth in my words. I am a pretty and beautiful woman – and thanks to a bra, I got to truly know and express that side of myself.
Finally, aged 42, I had MY first bra.