by Cherise Holt, Nurse, Australia

When you look in the mirror what do you see?

Do you scour the blemishes and subtle creases of your face, the way your hair has been groomed to best cover your regrowth and portray your best appearance and the multitude of imperfections from your head to your toes?

Or, do you see and feel the beauty of a woman gazing tenderly back at you?

Not long ago, if you had asked me the question – Do I feel beautiful? – I would have compared myself against all the ‘beautiful people’ in the world, the air-brushed women in the magazines, on the TV, my friends, colleagues and even the woman walking down the street. Although I have always thought I was a beautiful person, my belief of beauty was once based on my physical appearance. I would take comfort in the fact that my hair looked lovely or my eyes were pretty, but I could never see past the imperfections that so easily flawed me to feel myself in full as a beautiful woman.

My mother has always lovingly expressed the beauty she sees in me but somewhere in my early years I began to believe that this was simply not true, or that my mum was just biased! On the day of my year twelve formal and again on my wedding day, I actually accepted her compliments and replied with a heart-felt ‘thank you’ (I’m sure she almost fell over!) On these occasions I felt a deep sense of self-confidence and self-acceptance of my own beauty, but as I was all dressed up with hair and make-up complete I returned to my old belief that it must have been my physical appearance that equated my beauty.

My relationship with me

In the last couple of years I have been developing an invaluable relationship with me – I am expressing myself more and more in the way that I cherish my own body and spending the time to truly nurture me. In my relationship with me I have begun to get-to-know me again and what my own expression actually looks like – from the way I dress or do my hair, the time I give myself to sit and apply my make-up each morning and the adoring eyes that I gaze through when I see my reflection during the day.

It is through these eyes that I see other women and how beautiful they are, a beauty that is based not on the clothes they are wearing, their physical appearance or anything they are ‘doing’. 

What is beauty? – Beauty is simply who WE are

Now, standing in front of a mirror – no clothes to accentuate my figure, no make-up or accessories to formulate my appearance and no one else to measure up to – I am met with the delicateness of a little girl, the loving warmth of a woman and the essence of who I truly am. From here I know that my old patterns of self-judgment, critique and down-right harshness have no place and I claim this simple fact – I am beautiful.

Women

Many studies[1] are showing the sad facts that young girls, teenagers and women everywhere find it so difficult to accept ourselves, our bodies and our natural beauty. But we can give ourselves the permission to be more loving, appreciate who we truly are and accept the natural beauty we already hold. We live in an influential and complex world, taking on many ideals and beliefs of what beauty should look like – but the truth is simple – express who we are and we will get to know our beauty again, live life with this quality and there will be nothing to do or outside recognition to seek and enjoy discovering how beautiful we really are and sharing US with the world.