Dysmenorrhoea (Painful periods) and the Joy of Coming back to Me

~ womeninlivingness

Dysmenorrhoea is a medical term used in association with periods to describe frontal low pelvic pain.

Soon after my first period started I began to get severe pain most, if not every month. Usually within 3 to 4 hours of starting I would be on the floor with sickness and diarrhoea from the contractions in my womb. It would only last a few hours but the intensity was crazy.

I would make noises like a woman having a baby; I would scream, shout, swear and I would roll about the floor like a possessed (mad) woman. I could quickly go from feeling boiling hot and sweating to freezing cold and hugging a hot water bottle – this between hugging the toilet and hugging a sick bowl. Continue reading “Dysmenorrhoea (Painful periods) and the Joy of Coming back to Me” →

Self-loathing, My Closet, and Me

~ womeninlivingness

The weekend before last, I was feeling great in myself, no feeling of self-loathing in sight and whilst tidying my room I decided to go through the clothes in my closet. I was in the mood for a deep clear out, and it was definitely needed!

My Closet and My Body Image

Around two and a half years ago I put on a substantial amount of weight (around 10kg) and within a number of months another 5kg got added more gradually. This was a consequence of not wanting to move forward in my life, and instead digging my heels in. As a result a lot of my clothes, especially jeans and dresses, didn’t fit me any more. My body image hit rock bottom, and my self-loathing skyrocketed. Continue reading “Self-loathing, My Closet, and Me” →

A Letter for all Women and Girls

~ womeninlivingness

This is a letter for all daughters to read to get a glimpse of how their mothers may have felt about them when they were teenagers or now that they are teenagers. This letter may also uncover how we wished our mothers had communicated to us when we were becoming women and making our way in the world. This letter offers us an opportunity to feel and heal any sadness we may have hiding away in relation to our mothers and our relationship. Where there is a line just insert your name, reading this letter as if your mother wrote it just for you. Continue reading “A Letter for all Women and Girls” →

The Effects of Image in Media – Not so Sexy for Young Women

~ womeninlivingness

Image is huge in our society, with a constant bombardment of what you should look like from all sides in media and social media. Thankfully, as a society we are starting to become more aware of how the images we see everyday affect us and especially influence our younger generation.

Recent studies show that the impact of early exposure of sexuality to a girl’s development is indeed very harmful. A report by the American Psychological Association task force (APA, 2007), found that girls who are exposed to sexual messages from popular culture are more likely to have depression, low self esteem and to suffer from eating disorders. Unfortunately, we are only currently seeing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the devastating effects of over sexualizing our young girls, especially with the advent of social media. Continue reading “The Effects of Image in Media – Not so Sexy for Young Women” →

Body Shape – How I Feel versus How I Look

~ womeninlivingness

Really loving my body shape and how I feel versus how I look is a recent new awareness for me. Lately I’ve been feeling so great and really enjoying feeling how my body feels whenever I walk or move, so much so it often makes me smile to myself, even in public!

Going back 10 years, my focus was never on how I felt but always on how I looked. Sure I would eat when hungry, or sleep when tired. Actually as I write that, I realise I didn’t eat when hungry –

  • I ate all the time to deal with how anxious I was feeling and used food to comfort me if I was feeling emotional, and didn’t want to deal with difficult or hurtful situations.
  • Sleep when tired? Actually I was exhausted, but would push myself to stay up late at nights and drive myself hard because I felt a stigma attached to being a single parent and wanted to prove to the world I could ‘do it all’. I wasn’t going to be on benefits and a drain on society: instead I was going to be a great mum, a hard worker, a sociable hostess and later when I got married, a house-proud wife!

Continue reading “Body Shape – How I Feel versus How I Look” →

What Defines a True Woman? – Returning to Be-You-Ty

~ womeninlivingness

For many years (actually most of my life) I was lost to myself, trying very hard to live up to a picture (actually a variety of pictures) of what defines a true woman and how it ‘should’ be, without connecting back deep inside me, and listening with care to my body, but instead from a variety of ‘external’ pictures or fixed ways to be defined as a ‘true’ woman.

There was then a time in my life that I got caught up in a way of being as woman that I thought (with the ‘help’ of my head) was ‘natural’.

As a young child I watched my mum who was always crazily busy on this committee and that charity – doing ‘noble deeds’ but running herself so ragged, utterly unable to sit still and intensely self critical in this seeking of perfection. There was a drive and a very fixed idea of what it was to be ‘good’ and ‘nice’ and ‘proper’ – and so, sadly an absence of any tenderness to self and so for others. I actively rejected (and reacted) to this way, as definitely not being ‘it’.

Continue reading “What Defines a True Woman? – Returning to Be-You-Ty” →

Finding my self-worth: Is there more to me than all that I do?

~ womeninlivingness

My Self-Worth – Is it in performing different Roles in my Life? OR in the being all of ME, my precious self in the world?

It was only when I reached a very low point in my life and had an injury, which left me crippled/handicapped for 6 months that I started questioning how I was living my life, and then things started to change. I really couldn’t do much, in fact nothing at all for months. It was tough to not be able to perform my super womanly duties: the sister, the daughter, the friend, the mother, the wife, the employee, the multi-tasker, the work-harder, the pleaser, and the do-gooder! Continue reading “Finding my self-worth: Is there more to me than all that I do?” →

Misogyny and the Sliding Scale of Abuse – Our Responsibility

~ womeninlivingness

According to statistics and a number of surveys around the World, misogyny and the abuse of women is on the rise.

A survey by the European Union Agency for Fundamental Rights found about a third of all women in the EU have experienced either physical or sexual violence since the age of 15. The survey found that “one in 10 women has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 15, and one in 20 has been raped”. 

Every 90 seconds, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted – Calculation based on 2012 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice.

Since the age of 15, one third of women (33%) have experienced inappropriate comments about their body or sex life, one quarter (25%) have experienced unwanted sexual touching, and one in five (19%) have been stalked. Australian Bureau of Statistics (2006) Continue reading “Misogyny and the Sliding Scale of Abuse – Our Responsibility” →

Expression: The Choice to be My Natural Self

~ womeninlivingness

‘How are you?’…

It’s a question we ask each other every day… and a question that was posed by Sara Williams during one of the recent Esoteric Women’s Groups in London.

We were invited to ponder on how we usually answer that question, what we choose to say and how much of ourselves we choose to share. Working in pairs with people we didn’t know, we were given three opportunities to answer the same question… Continue reading “Expression: The Choice to be My Natural Self” →