It has been nearly 7 years since my first period at the age of 13 and since then I have been on an amazing journey in my relationship with myself as a woman. During those years there were many changes taking place – it is generally known and accepted that puberty is a big time for teenagers as their physical body and hormones shift, but with the support of Esoteric Women’s Health and Universal Medicine practitioners, this time has been far more than a biological change for me – it has been an amazing journey where I have blossomed from a girl into a woman. Continue reading “My Journey with my Periods – Discovering Cycles “
My Underwear Story – from Practical to Pretty!
As a child growing up there was not a lot of money coming into our household so I would wear hand me downs that my mother altered to fit me, and as for underwear, it was plain and practical.
Our home life was not a happy one in any way. I lived for the day that my father would finally see me for who I was, or even talk with me. There was never any sharing or chatting with each other, and as children my sister and I only seemed to be spoken to when we were judged to be in trouble. Even Mum and Dad very seldom spoke to each other. At school the children used to chatter away to each other, but for me I was always on the outside thinking that ‘no one wanted to hear what I had to say’, and my self confidence and self worth slowly diminished every day.
Continue reading “My Underwear Story – from Practical to Pretty!”
From Exhaustion to Amazing Woman
For many years I used to sit up late at night, watching TV whilst indulging in some sweets or junk food, thinking this is ‘me-time’. Considering that I was always a natural early morning person, I used to push through when I felt tired in the evening, choosing to override that feeling and just prop myself up with some sweet foods to stay awake and watch another late night movie I thought I could not miss. Interestingly, most mornings I could hardly remember what I had watched the night before …
My Breasts, My Breasts
I have two of them and never would I have ever expected to be sharing the story of my breasts with the world, let alone celebrating the depth of beauty and Love they emanate and that I now live.
My True relationship with my Breasts began 9 years ago with my first Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM). At the time I was breastfeeding a baby and moving on from an abusive relationship. It could now be said that I was moving on from a long-standing, far more abusive relationship with myself.
I’d never realised how deeply ingrained self-abuse was, how insidious and foul – a stench that plagued me for as long as I remember and yet was a safe, known companion and the red marker pen which I branded myself with as ‘wrong’.
At 45, for the First Time in my Life, I Actually Love having Breasts!
Although it hasn’t always been this way …
Breasts. Even just saying this word conjures up so many feelings.
When I was young, intimate body parts like breasts were never discussed with family or friends. There was a slight air of embarrassment around it, and from this I interpreted that breasts were definitely something to hide and not talk about.
Continue reading “At 45, for the First Time in my Life, I Actually Love having Breasts!”
My Breasts and I: From No Awareness to Love & Respect
It seems strange to say this now, but once upon a time I had no awareness of my breasts other than as:
- a visible marker of my womanhood
- objects of sexual pleasure
- a physical inconvenience due to persistent lumps and soreness.
In truth, I was actually more annoyed by my breasts than anything else. At times I resented their visibility and the fact that I would be judged in some way when given the ‘once over’ by others (men and women). I certainly was not impressed by the lumps and pain I’d experienced since my 20s, which had me frequently rushing off for mammograms, convinced I had cancer. There was some compensation for these woes, in terms of the feelings I derived from them during sex, but even this felt somewhat hollow and certainly didn’t offset my physical condition.
Continue reading “My Breasts and I: From No Awareness to Love & Respect”
Bras, Breasts, Esoteric Breast Massage and Me
I never really considered how I related to my breasts beyond them being a nuisance or an annoyance. Yes, I got attention because of these breasts of mine, but not in a good way, and I felt riled and annoyed each time this was happening.
I’ve always been conscious of my breasts, not in a proud or appreciative way, but as something I felt extremely awkward about, a part of me I was not exactly sure what to do with, and blithely ignored as much as possible. Plus, they hurt, especially during my periods and so they were often considered a nuisance.
For years I wore the wrong size bra, apparently and surprisingly up to 80% of women do, (1). The figure seems absurd, and yet many sources corroborate this. Imagine wearing the wrong size shoes!
Continue reading “Bras, Breasts, Esoteric Breast Massage and Me”
Breast Care: Are Cysts Harmless?
Often with even the best breast care, it is commonly accepted that cysts in the body are not dangerous, even when they feel like a lump. On many occasions, with further examination the lump is found to be a small, generally harmless sac filled with fluid, rather than a cancerous or benign lump of cells – there may even be one cyst or many cysts appearing together that end up being benign.
Developing a True Relationship with My Breasts
From a very young age the only relationship I had with my breasts was one laced with despair, discomfort and shame. Having developed breasts from a young age I spent most of my life trying to hide their size and wishing they were not so large, as I didn’t like the attention that they attracted, particularly from boys and later on men.
It wasn’t until I had a breast cancer diagnosis in 2008 and being faced with surgery did the relationship I had with my breasts change.
The first change in relationship was that it was now based on fear – the fear of losing my breasts, the very breasts that I had for such a long time ignored and condemned. All of a sudden they were not so bad after all.
Continue reading “Developing a True Relationship with My Breasts”
Breast Cancer – How and Why?
I developed breast cancer five years ago and I knew it was a ‘wake up call’ for me to change my ways. I had spent most of my life focused on helping other people instead of first caring for myself by living in a way that is loving and honouring of me.
Focusing mainly on others proved to be detrimental to my own body. I had been disregarding of how I was living. By being constantly on the go, propelled by the nervous energy that seemed to be energizing but in fact was extremely exhaustive. At the time, I didn’t feel the degree to which I was exhausted and how tired I was as I hadn’t been focusing on how my body really felt.
Could it be that our body’s intelligence knows what is true and what is not and therefore brings to our awareness behaviours that do not support our health and wellbeing? Could it be that all illness and disease is our body’s way of healing aspects of ourselves that are not true? This is certainly my experience with breast cancer. Through cancer I have found out that my body had another reality about life. Continue reading “Breast Cancer – How and Why?”