Woman Returning

Earlier this year I attended a workshop titled ‘Relationship with Self’, part of a new series presented by Natalie Benhayon, and Esoteric Women’s Health. The idea around these presentations is that as women today, we are not living the fullness of who we are, lacking that deep connection and knowing of ourselves as women which is impacting many areas of our lives.

At this particular presentation Natalie Benhayon was presenting alongside Miranda Benhayon and together the two women were speaking about intimacy, and in particular intimacy amongst women. They shared how as women this is actually a very natural part of us, yet in many instances it seems we are holding ourselves back from sharing this natural intimacy with one another.

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Menopause: a Deeper Connection to Myself as a Woman

My journey into menopause began as I started noticing and feeling certain changes in my physical body: my shape rounded slightly around my hips and lower abdomen, and there came a series of what felt like a volcanic heat erupting in my body, particularly from the chest upwards. These sweats would come and go quite quickly in duration but vary in their intensity as well as their frequency. At times the heat felt prickly and all consuming, and at other moments it was a feeling of letting go, with a quality of freedom. There were intermittent feelings of frustration, with a yearning to understand more of what was going on inside me. I found I experienced varying degrees of feeling light and heavy within my body throughout the months, and the cycles of no bleeding became longer and longer until a year had passed with no period.

What I am describing here are only some of the physical changes I began noticing. But there is more to menopause than just the physical symptoms.

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Getting Lost in Mothering

I wanted to be a mother from as early as I can remember.

This was not due to seeing my mum love being a mum, it was that I felt I would be good at it and that it would be great to be able to love something I created. Well, my childhood wish came true and I ended up being totally lost in mothering my seven children – yes you read correctly, it was the wish that kept on giving.

In being caught up in fulfilling my childhood belief that I would be a good mother, I lost my connection to the fact that I am a woman before I am anything else for anyone else.

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From Feeling Unsure of Myself to Surrendering to the Woman I am

A little while ago I connected to the hardness and tension in my body that I have felt many times before, yet had not ever connected this to the fact that it was there because I was feeling unsure of myself and holding-in the true woman I am.

I began to feel the details of what I am actually hardening myself against.

First of all there is a general feeling of a lack of confidence and being unsure in many situations. Unsure as to how to respond to the situation at hand, unsure because I may not understand what the other person is saying and unsure because what I feel to say may upset the person or people I am speaking with.

Yes you read correct I GIVE POWER TO BEING UNSURE OF MYSELF. Yet in truth if I allow myself to feel underneath the unsureness, there is simply a steadiness of love that is always waiting and willing to be spoken, it is up to me to give voice to this love.

So how am I coming to terms with this old pattern and how am I beginning to change it?

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Learning to Love Myself and Trusting I am Enough

I am a beautiful woman!

Wow – that’s a bold statement to make about myself but make it I will. Let me explain.

When I say I am beautiful I don’t mean in the way society dictates. I don’t have a perfect figure, whatever that is, and I’m not a model.

I’m beautiful in the way I love myself.

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A New Relationship – Am I Wilting or am I Blossoming

Last year I entered into a new relationship and settled for less than love. I knew deep down that I am worthy of love and deserve to be adored, but I chose to settle for less, because there is still a part of me that wants to be with a man, not on my own.

I feel that as women, we have been overriding our own clear signals and needing / relying on someone else’s approval for decades. We have often settled for less in a new relationship, not truly seeing we are worthy of love or claiming that we deserve to be adored for the beautiful woman that we are. This is no fault on anyone else, but our own choice for settling for less and for not loving ourselves enough to know our own worth.

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Being A Delicate Woman – Is My True Strength

Whilst swimming in the pool I observed a young girl injure herself whilst playing, albeit only slightly, yet the response from the adults around her was to immediately suggest she ‘get over it’, ‘harden up’ or ‘laugh it off’. And as I observed, it had me wondering…

Why don’t we allow ourselves as women to feel how delicate we truly are?

Have many of us not been taught from an early age that being girly or delicate means that we’re just not strong or tough enough to be out there in the world?

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Can you be a Good Mother when your Children are not Living with You?

What does it mean to be a good mother? Do your children have to live in the same house as you? And what if they don’t? Do you constantly have to be there for your children? There are so many pictures we as women, and as mothers have bought into – but are they true?

Do these ideals make the relationship with our children more loving or do they keep us imprisoned in a way that we are supposed to behave?

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Dating and Finding True Love in Singapore, Hong Kong, London, Sydney…or Anywhere

No matter which side of the hemisphere we live in or nationality we’re from, dating and finding true love continues to be a global ache or tension. Where we live makes no difference at all and yet so many of us to a degree cling onto a belief, minor hope or big dream that by moving abroad or finding an expat, this ache will be eased and provide the love that’s missing ‘back home’. Though when this doesn’t occur, are we willing to step back and take a look at ourselves, or do we leave the country, taking the disillusioned ‘love-hope’ with us onto our next destination?

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Dysmenorrhoea (Painful periods) and the Joy of Coming back to Me

Dysmenorrhoea is a medical term used in association with periods to describe frontal low pelvic pain.

Soon after my first period started I began to get severe pain most, if not every month. Usually within 3 to 4 hours of starting I would be on the floor with sickness and diarrhoea from the contractions in my womb. It would only last a few hours but the intensity was crazy.

I would make noises like a woman having a baby; I would scream, shout, swear and I would roll about the floor like a possessed (mad) woman. I could quickly go from feeling boiling hot and sweating to freezing cold and hugging a hot water bottle – this between hugging the toilet and hugging a sick bowl. Continue reading “Dysmenorrhoea (Painful periods) and the Joy of Coming back to Me”