Category: ESOTERIC MODALITIES

No periods… a message from my body

~ womeninlivingness

Six years ago the doctor asked me if I wanted anti-depressants and suggested I saw a psychotherapist for eating disorders. I’d had some big life changes and reacted with a huge amount of emotional turmoil and stress. I lost about 12kg and went down to 42kg within a few months. My periods stopped and I had no energy or enthusiasm for anything in life. 

I thought I didn’t have an eating disorder because I wasn’t obsessed with my weight or my body – I just didn’t care, about myself or anything else. I shut myself down as a woman, to myself and the world, and gave up. Continue reading “No periods… a message from my body” →

My journey with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome

~ womeninlivingness

Since my early twenties I have had severely irregular periods and could go three to six months, sometimes longer, without any.   

I was overweight, moody and had excess facial hair. 

I felt uncomfortable as a woman. 

I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and so began my journey with ‘fixing’ my periods.  Continue reading “My journey with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome” →

Wearing a Cardigan of Protection

~ womeninlivingness

Recently, I have felt something changing within me, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I noticed that my cardigans seemed to be too big or not sitting well on the shoulders. They were like an oversized coat that no longer fitted my frame and I started to question whether it was my posture, or my weight. Both remained the same, but something else had changed. Yesterday the understanding came fully as I was booking in for my monthly Esoteric Breast Massage – a super supportive modality offered by women practitioners trained by Universal Medicine. Continue reading “Wearing a Cardigan of Protection” →

A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality

~ womeninlivingness

Three days ago, I woke up with a frozen shoulder; I was unable to sleep the prior night or get out of bed. This has happened before, but this time, with the help of my amazing practitioner, Jenny Ellis, I really listened to the message being offered up. I came to understand the message along with fixing the actual physical pain. And this is what I discovered… Continue reading “A Frozen Shoulder: Thawing my Resistance to my Inner Quality” →

A Woman Stepping Out – my Journey with the Esoteric Breast Massage

~ womeninlivingness

I had heard from some women that I spoke to about having Esoteric Breast Massages, how nurturing and deeply honouring they found the sessions to be, so I was very much looking forward to a series of Esoteric Breast Massage sessions with a Practitioner who had been recommended to me and one whom I felt drawn to because of the deep stillness I could feel in her presence.

Continue reading “A Woman Stepping Out – my Journey with the Esoteric Breast Massage” →

My Breasts, My Breasts

~ womeninlivingness

I have two of them and never would I have ever expected to be sharing the story of my breasts with the world, let alone celebrating the depth of beauty and Love they emanate and that I now live.

My True relationship with my Breasts began 9 years ago with my first Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM). At the time I was breastfeeding a baby and moving on from an abusive relationship. It could now be said that I was moving on from a long-standing, far more abusive relationship with myself.

I’d never realised how deeply ingrained self-abuse was, how insidious and foul – a stench that plagued me for as long as I remember and yet was a safe, known companion and the red marker pen which I branded myself with as ‘wrong’. 

Continue reading “My Breasts, My Breasts” →

My Breasts and I: From No Awareness to Love & Respect

~ womeninlivingness

It seems strange to say this now, but once upon a time I had no awareness of my breasts other than as:

  • a visible marker of my womanhood
  • objects of sexual pleasure
  • a physical inconvenience due to persistent lumps and soreness.

In truth, I was actually more annoyed by my breasts than anything else. At times I resented their visibility and the fact that I would be judged in some way when given the ‘once over’ by others (men and women). I certainly was not impressed by the lumps and pain I’d experienced since my 20s, which had me frequently rushing off for mammograms, convinced I had cancer. There was some compensation for these woes, in terms of the feelings I derived from them during sex, but even this felt somewhat hollow and certainly didn’t offset my physical condition.

Continue reading “My Breasts and I: From No Awareness to Love & Respect” →

Bras, Breasts, Esoteric Breast Massage and Me

~ womeninlivingness

I never really considered how I related to my breasts beyond them being a nuisance or an annoyance. Yes, I got attention because of these breasts of mine, but not in a good way, and I felt riled and annoyed each time this was happening.

I’ve always been conscious of my breasts, not in a proud or appreciative way, but as something I felt extremely awkward about, a part of me I was not exactly sure what to do with, and blithely ignored as much as possible. Plus, they hurt, especially during my periods and so they were often considered a nuisance.

For years I wore the wrong size bra, apparently and surprisingly up to 80% of women do, (1). The figure seems absurd, and yet many sources corroborate this. Imagine wearing the wrong size shoes!

Continue reading “Bras, Breasts, Esoteric Breast Massage and Me” →

Breast Care: Are Cysts Harmless?

~ womeninlivingness

Often with even the best breast care, it is commonly accepted that cysts in the body are not dangerous, even when they feel like a lump. On many occasions, with further examination the lump is found to be a small, generally harmless sac filled with fluid, rather than a cancerous or benign lump of cells – there may even be one cyst or many cysts appearing together that end up being benign.

Continue reading “Breast Care: Are Cysts Harmless?” →

Developing a True Relationship with My Breasts

~ womeninlivingness

From a very young age the only relationship I had with my breasts was one laced with despair, discomfort and shame. Having developed breasts from a young age I spent most of my life trying to hide their size and wishing they were not so large, as I didn’t like the attention that they attracted, particularly from boys and later on men.

It wasn’t until I had a breast cancer diagnosis in 2008 and being faced with surgery did the relationship I had with my breasts change.

The first change in relationship was that it was now based on fear – the fear of losing my breasts, the very breasts that I had for such a long time ignored and condemned. All of a sudden they were not so bad after all.

Continue reading “Developing a True Relationship with My Breasts” →