Category: WELLBEING

Self-loathing, My Closet, and Me

~ womeninlivingness

The weekend before last, I was feeling great in myself, no feeling of self-loathing in sight and whilst tidying my room I decided to go through the clothes in my closet. I was in the mood for a deep clear out, and it was definitely needed!

My Closet and My Body Image

Around two and a half years ago I put on a substantial amount of weight (around 10kg) and within a number of months another 5kg got added more gradually. This was a consequence of not wanting to move forward in my life, and instead digging my heels in. As a result a lot of my clothes, especially jeans and dresses, didn’t fit me any more. My body image hit rock bottom, and my self-loathing skyrocketed. Continue reading “Self-loathing, My Closet, and Me” →

The Effects of Image in Media – Not so Sexy for Young Women

~ womeninlivingness

Image is huge in our society, with a constant bombardment of what you should look like from all sides in media and social media. Thankfully, as a society we are starting to become more aware of how the images we see everyday affect us and especially influence our younger generation.

Recent studies show that the impact of early exposure of sexuality to a girl’s development is indeed very harmful. A report by the American Psychological Association task force (APA, 2007), found that girls who are exposed to sexual messages from popular culture are more likely to have depression, low self esteem and to suffer from eating disorders. Unfortunately, we are only currently seeing the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the devastating effects of over sexualizing our young girls, especially with the advent of social media. Continue reading “The Effects of Image in Media – Not so Sexy for Young Women” →

What Defines a True Woman? – Returning to Be-You-Ty

~ womeninlivingness

For many years (actually most of my life) I was lost to myself, trying very hard to live up to a picture (actually a variety of pictures) of what defines a true woman and how it ‘should’ be, without connecting back deep inside me, and listening with care to my body, but instead from a variety of ‘external’ pictures or fixed ways to be defined as a ‘true’ woman.

There was then a time in my life that I got caught up in a way of being as woman that I thought (with the ‘help’ of my head) was ‘natural’.

As a young child I watched my mum who was always crazily busy on this committee and that charity – doing ‘noble deeds’ but running herself so ragged, utterly unable to sit still and intensely self critical in this seeking of perfection. There was a drive and a very fixed idea of what it was to be ‘good’ and ‘nice’ and ‘proper’ – and so, sadly an absence of any tenderness to self and so for others. I actively rejected (and reacted) to this way, as definitely not being ‘it’.

Continue reading “What Defines a True Woman? – Returning to Be-You-Ty” →

What is being Truly Sexy?

~ womeninlivingness

What sexy means to me has changed dramatically over the past three years, since attending the Women in Livingness Groups, held monthly in London. I used to see being sexy as something outside of me that I could buy, attain or an approach that if studied hard enough could bring me that sexy look. I used to see being sexy as an age thing and that as you went past a certain age that was it – no more sexy!

Well I am super glad I have put that belief to bed; I have now met many, many women who inspire super sexiness at all ages. These women are happy and content with who they are, they know they are not perfect but there is tender openness with a joy and a willingness to explore who they really are. Over the years that I have attended the women’s groups, I have seen the ladies flourish as they deepen their connection to the real, truly sexy women they are.

This has been a real blessing and truly inspiring to see. I can feel my body rejoice in the inspiration of these women as they deepen their self- acceptance for themselves, and love for who they are.

Society imposes on us what sexy is.

Sexy is not a picture in a magazine that tells us how we should look.

Sexy is not about showing as much flesh as possible.

Sexy is not about flirting and being all smiles and puppy dog eyes, yet hiding behind a façade of insecurities.

Sexy is not about being taken advantage of in any single way.

Sexy is not about inciting male attention to hide a lack in ourselves.

Sexy is not about making other women jealous.

Sexy is not about inciting comparison.

Sexy is not selling a product or selling yourself.

Sexy is not seeing a look on a billboard and feeling “wow that is sexy I want to look like that”.

Sexy is not manipulating a situation to get what you want.

Being sexy is not using looks or sex to gain affection.

Sexy is not dressing just for the attention of others.

Sexy is not acting seductively to “hook” a male in.

Being sexy is not being domineering, or meek and pathetic.

Sexy is not about being abused in any way.

Sexy is not acting promiscuously or promoting it in any form and it is definitely not found on MTV.

True sexiness is:

  • How we move.
  • How we are gentle and tender with ourselves.
  • How we walk.
  • When we feel amazing, and claim it rather than holding it back.
  • How we blink our eyes.
  • How aware we are of our breasts.
  • How when our posture is aligned and chest lovingly expanded we stand open ready to give and receive love.
  • The way we can feel connected to and be aware of our ovaries and uterus whilst carrying out mundane tasks.
  • In our voice when we talk with clarity and presence.
  • An inner confidence that is not altered by other’s perceptions, whether good or bad.
  • The clothes we choose to wear that accentuate the beautiful woman already there.
  • In the way in which we deeply honour ourselves whilst getting ready for the day.
  • How we interact with all those we meet, holding them, connecting with them and not holding back and not trying to be more or less.
  • Simply expressing what is there to be expressed.
  • Being playful, and being in the moment.
  • Dressing for yourself and feeling the texture of the fabric on the skin and the way it feels and flows on body.
  • Choosing underwear that confirms the beauty we are, making sure the fabric feels good against the body.
  • Giving yourself permission to say YES to life.

Being Truly Sexy is enhanced by being in touch with our natural rhythms and cycles; it is about inspiring other women that we are ALL truly sexy, and all we need to do is connect to the enormous sensual, sacred and tender love that we have inside.

As women we all have a unique sexiness that comes not from looks or any outside skill we perform. True sexiness is there already within, waiting and wanting to come out. Thank you to all you sexy ladies out there for inspiring me to be the full, truly sexy woman I am!

by STC, UK 

You may also like:

Feeling Truly Sexy by Priscila, UK
The Natural Yearning and Impulse to Express Our Beauty by Gina Dunlop

Self-Worth: Honouring the Beautiful Woman I Am

~ womeninlivingness

As women we are coming more to understand and appreciate just how beautiful we really are and that this beauty shines brightly from the inside out. All we need do is allow ourselves to be open and live what feels natural to us in our everyday lives; claiming and confirming our self-worth.

We can nurture our bodies and ourselves by honouring what feels right and accept the way our bodies physically feel and look; we weren’t made to be perfect after all!

But why do we still find ourselves looking to others to acknowledge us or confirm our own beauty and self-worth before we accept ourselves in full? Continue reading “Self-Worth: Honouring the Beautiful Woman I Am” →

Women’s Health and Well-being – Remedy Free

~ womeninlivingness

Recently the Queen Victoria Women’s Centre, in the heart of Melbourne’s CBD, was graced with a presentation by the Dynamic Duo of Serryn O’Regan and Sara Harris. The focus of the presentation was on Women’s wellness, health, well-being and how women are truly living. The presentation was real, grounded in the reality of how women are living in these modern times and filled with a simplicity that all women could relate to.

One of the refreshing aspects of the presentation was that it was free of quick fixes or solutions that we often use to band aid the issues in our life. The presentation was remedy free, it simply proposed some questions: Continue reading “Women’s Health and Well-being – Remedy Free” →

Esoteric Breast Massage: Embracing Tenderness and Deepening My Understanding of Abuse

~ womeninlivingness

Recently, I had an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) with Mary-Louise Myers at a Universal Medicine clinic. In this session I re-discovered how hard I still find it to come back into my body, to stay with myself, to actually connect and feel me and my tenderness. I was able to really feel how much I constantly brace myself and hold myself on guard. As if constantly expecting some type of abuse or harsh treatment and ‘preparing’ myself for it. As if this preparation would actually help me handle life better.

In my life I did not experience the ‘obvious’ type of abuse: I did not drink nor smoke nor take drugs when I was growing up (I tried each of them very briefly, but discovered that I could not handle them). I was not abused sexually or otherwise, nor raped. I have only ever had 2 intimate relationships with men, one of whom is my husband today (a very caring and tender man). And when I used to look at this list I would think to myself ‘why would I carry such a degree of fear, bracing myself for abuse and waiting for it to happen any moment?’

What I felt during the Esoteric Breast Massage session was that there was still a trauma locked in my body – a trauma that I thought I had explored, let go of and moved on from, yet it was still alive in my body.

Continue reading “Esoteric Breast Massage: Embracing Tenderness and Deepening My Understanding of Abuse” →

The Princess and the Pea – with Socks On

~ womeninlivingness

Do you remember the story of the Princess and the Pea? It is the one where the princess can feel a pea under her mattress. More and more mattresses are piled on top of it but she can still feel the pea. Most of us do not have royal status but it is interesting to ponder on our own human sensitivity and how we often override what we feel.

For example, how often do we put up with uncomfortable clothing because it is fashionable, looks good or is a particular colour? This can apply to any outfit ­– dresses, trousers, coats, even underwear, shoes and socks.  Continue reading “The Princess and the Pea – with Socks On” →

Using a Clothes Steamer: My shopping Purchase and Supporting Me

~ womeninlivingness

I love to shop. Recently my husband and I were talking about how some shopping purchases can be truly supportive and others are just unnecessary objects we buy because we are trying to fill a void or distract ourselves from feeling “stuff” that is coming up. We had this fun conversation about items we had brought (runners and a clothes steamer), and expressed a loving appreciation for ourselves when we brought something that was truly supportive.  Continue reading “Using a Clothes Steamer: My shopping Purchase and Supporting Me” →

The Awesome Foursome present in Melbourne

~ womeninlivingness

by Bianca Barban, Melbourne, Australia

At an Esoteric Women’s Group presentation earlier this month, the women of Melbourne were graced by a presentation on Women’s Health given by Sara Harris, Serryn O’Regan, Nina Stabey and Mary-Louise Myers. Each spoke with a strength and wisdom that was both very inspiring and deeply supportive, offering a reflection on how to take honouring ourselves to a deeper level. Continue reading “The Awesome Foursome present in Melbourne” →