Category: ON RELATIONSHIPS

Single Woman, Aged 38, No husband, No kids – No problem

~ womeninlivingness

by Zofia S, UK

The prospect of this article’s title, in my early 30’s, filled me, my single friends and probably most family members with dread – destined to have a life of misery and aloneness that was to be avoided!

Over the years, not once did I (nor any of my friends) really embrace ‘single status’, always in the hope of meeting someone at the next party or dinner etc. So why did I (and do so many others) struggle with this issue of being single? Why is it so important to us to have someone to call a boyfriend, partner or husband? What’s wrong with us being a single us? Is the only way to have fun, when one is with another? I asked myself such questions AND MORE – after all, I have good health, looks, own property, have a career, am financially, emotionally and mentally sound, am fun to be with and have no ‘baggage’ (kids or ex-husbands). Yet in spite of all this, I still felt a stigma (and could feel it from others too) of not being in a relationship; that there was something missing or that something was the matter, or wrong with me. “It will happen when you are not looking”, said friends who had successfully found ‘their key’. But I couldn’t help wonder to myself, had they really found the key, or just any key? Continue reading “Single Woman, Aged 38, No husband, No kids – No problem” →

The Power of Women when United

~ womeninlivingness

Recently I was offered the opportunity to feel the ABSOLUTE power that naturally exists between two women when they both choose to connect in essence: it was an insight into the power and beauty women hold when united. When connected to another’s essence we let go of all our stuff, comparisons, and judgments and even stop competing with each other, hence make way for so much more. It felt very still, huge, unwavering and silky to connect with another woman’s essence, but it also felt very normal and familiar – even though I can not remember feeling such a pure connection before. Continue reading “The Power of Women when United” →

The Woman

~ womeninlivingness

by Shannon Everest, Australia

A woman belongs to herself.

She may have a husband or a partner that she loves dearly, but she doesn’t belong to this man.

She may have children, but she does not belong to these children; though she can express beautifully as a mother with her children, being firm, loving, tender and supportive.

She has a mother and father herself, and even though these parents conceived her, gave birth to her and raised her from young, she never, ever belonged to them, but always to herself. Continue reading “The Woman” →

Mama Mia: Here I Go Again

~ womeninlivingness

by Sarah Davis, B.BSc, Grad Dip Applied Psychology, Australia

I have had many conversations recently with women about mothering. It has been truly lovely to connect and share openly – learning from each other’s reflections and supporting each other through honesty and inspiration. I find that the more honest I can be about how I have ‘approached’ motherhood, the more awareness I bring to how I have been living as a woman and how my body feels as a result of my choices. Often we share very similar accounts of the demands and ‘exhaustion’ of motherhood, as well as the intense ‘needs’ from our children, partners and society – well, as least that is how the conversation starts. Lately, these conversations have felt truly honest and inspiring as we explore more deeply ourselves as women within this experience and ‘dynamic’ of motherhood; the understanding that is developing is deeply inspiring and loving. Central to this unfolding is a claiming of our responsibility to make self-loving choices, and a commitment to self; basically that the ‘drama of motherhood’ is often a result of our own disregard and lack of self-worth – to the total detriment of our body and quality of relationships we adopt the maxim, the ‘tougher we do it’ the ‘better’ and ‘more committed’ mother we are. Correct? Continue reading “Mama Mia: Here I Go Again” →

Mum and Me

~ womeninlivingness

by JM and ML-M, NSW, Australia

The purpose behind us writing Mum and Me was for all to see that it is never too late to change the way we relate to our mothers and daughters, no matter what age they are or how dysfunctional our relationships may be. Through a loving commitment to ourselves first, then developing a true relationship with our mothers and daughters, we have the power in this generation to change patterns that have been passed down from mother to daughter for eons. Continue reading “Mum and Me” →

Sex, Drugs… and Making Love

~ womeninlivingness

by Kyla Plummer, Bangalow, Australia

My first experience of sex left a lot to be desired – I was 13 years old. My 17 year old boyfriend coerced and heavily pressured me into sex with stories of how a guy needs sex or his balls hurt; and how hard it is for guys because once they have it (sex, that is) it must happen regularly, or else etc… all lines designed to persuade a young and naïve target. I didn’t really even know that much of what was happening, but after heavy persistence I became worn down and gave in. Also, he could be quite scary and violent – at times there was no consent from me at all and he was quite forceful. In my desperation to grow up and be considered ‘mature’ I had found myself in this situation, spending every free hour at his run-down apartment, while at home my mother was beside herself with worry. Continue reading “Sex, Drugs… and Making Love” →

Fifty Shades of Grey

~ womeninlivingness

by Anonymous, Australia

This month’s Women’s Weekly printed an article on the phenomenon of the novel Fifty Shades of Grey. The article points out it is “far and away the fastest selling book in Australian history”. It has sold 20 million copies worldwide, more than Twilight and Harry Potter. This could indicate it is a fair barometer of where Western middle class women are at. A brief synopsis of the book is that it is about a virgin college graduate and a billionaire lover who has a bondage dungeon called ‘The Red Room of Pain’. She plays a completely submissive role, where the lover does everything for her and they engage in erotic sex, including bondage, riding crops and handcuffs.

The book’s Facebook page is full of reports of renewed vigour and libido in women’s lives – and very happy, satisfied husbands as a result. But what can we draw from this phenomenon? Could it be possible that the female readers, mainly married mothers (the book has been dubbed ‘mummy porn’), have been without deep intimacy and affection in their marriages, and to admit that their lives are lacking this deeper quality is too painful to face? The engaging of the eroticism from this book then suddenly has aroused a renewed vigour in the bedroom, and love is deemed to have been rediscovered in their lives – but maybe all that has happened is that more sex has substituted for a deeper intimacy and affection of love, and the painful absence of that previously being longed for, is abated. Continue reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” →

Overwhelm

~ womeninlivingness

by Lucy Dahill, Sydney, Australia

Most things in my life have happened quickly, always at a pace… I would become frustrated by having to wait or go slowly and I would never stop and do nothing. I got pregnant three months after I started dating my husband. That meant we didn’t have much time to get to know each other as man and woman before my growing baby and I became the centre of his world. I was working full-time and studying to complete an aromatherapy diploma. This carried on into the pregnancy of my second child a year later. We moved to the country, I left my office job and took up both voluntary work and practitioner work and we had our third child. All the way through this I distinctly remember the feeling that something was welling up inside me that needed to be squashed. Was it a scream… a wave… a huge roar? Continue reading “Overwhelm” →

Living with Self-Love

~ womeninlivingness

I have been hearing about ‘self-love’ my whole life; about being ‘kind to myself’, being ‘who I am’, ‘loving’ or ‘respecting myself” or ‘liking me, for me’, but it never really meant anything to me – they were just words and no-one could explain or show me what those phrases about self-love really meant.

Then at age 24, I met Mary-Louise Myers for my very first esoteric healing session. I asked for a massage, and I did get a gentle back massage but I also got a whole lot more. At the end of the session, Mary-Louise shared with me how important it was to be gentle and ‘self-loving’ and to take care of my body. I was a little dumbfounded by what she meant by ‘self-loving’, so I asked her – I remember her saying to me “begin by making loving choices for yourself”. At this point something clicked and it was “oh! I get that”, realising that I had been gradually doing this (in small ways) for the past five or six years. Continue reading “Living with Self-Love” →

‘To Make Love or Have Sex?’ – One Man’s Experience

~ womeninlivingness ~ 5 Comments

In our first ever post by a male author, Naren Duffy explores the difference between sex and love-making. Writing this frank and honest is rare indeed. A must read for all women (and men).  

by Naren Duffy, UK

‘Sex’. What power a little three-letter word can have! Chances are that many people who read this will have had their interest piqued simply because of the word ‘sex’ in the title of this post. It is amazing to me that such a little word can bring such a huge range of emotions and reactions within us. Of course, it is not the word that has this power, but the power we give to it that makes it powerful. It is what sex has come to mean to us in the world we live in that brings up such a huge range of responses in us. From titillation to disgust, and everything in between.

But what about ‘making love’? Is it the same as ‘sex’? Describing the physical act, ‘sex’ and ‘making love‘ are often used interchangeably. But are they really the same? Even just saying ‘making love’, it is pretty clear that there is something more going on than just sex. The words themselves when compared to each other are like completely different concepts. Sex as a word is punchy, short, terse. It just is sex. It does what it says on the box. No more, no less.

‘Making love’, however, has the potential to mean so much more. Continue reading “‘To Make Love or Have Sex?’ – One Man’s Experience” →